and you make matters worse because your present life is getting a perpetual busy signal. Let’s take a look at this negative habit and the effects it has on your quality of life.
Do you feel stuck or in a repetitive series of bad luck cycles? Can’t ‘catch a break’. Start paying attention to your thoughts throughout the day. Document a few of them and review at the end of the day. You’ll see a distinct pattern of negativity. Let’s look closer now, who doesn’t love a good closeup in the mirror?
You’ve likely been blaming everything in your life on your childhood or your past. Blame is a lie that your mind uses against you. It’s highly probable that these thoughts and memories prevent you from being present, so let’s agree that if you can’t be here now, what does that say about your future?
To start new habits on the path to being present, you must change your mind set first. Try shifting the narrative in your head to: “that was me when I was little”, “that was my daily life”, “those were my results”. Newsflash: You are no longer 5 years old and it’s never too late to change your thinking habits. Never! When we stop growing, we stop living, think about that.
Now, here’s why many people won’t even give this a try. (Even though they are miserable.) They have piled these negative thoughts and experiences for years and years, they are limiting beliefs that falsely convince the person that life happens to them. They also ingest a steady diet of bullsh*t also known as a family tradition, peer pressure, hearsay, etc. “No one in our family is smart, no one went to college.” “We’re poor.” “Oh, I tried that, it doesn’t work.” The latter is one of my favorites, how about try again, try another approach but begin by shutting down the negative dialogue in your head.
Your mind is lying to you because you have stopped using it. To get your mind in right order, yes, the mind loves order! Think of what you really want, not what others want or expect of you. What is your purpose in life? (Hint: We ALL have one.) To become aware of yours, here’s a great hack from Sara Blakely, creator of Spanx. What makes you cry? How and what can you do to solve that problem for people? Create a vision board that gives you a daily visual reminder of what is really important to you, in your heart. Warning: your past memories will not cooperate here, the liar will try to stop you from thinking this way. Push through it, you are in charge now. Find things that motivate you and make you happy. (Hint 2: If it involves giving or helping in any way, you’re going in the right direction).
You’re not done unraveling the phone cord… now let’s tackle desire. We are born with incredible minds and can imagine anything, back it with desire and make it happen. This is a proven fact, the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Sara Blakely, etc.
What’s the most popular killer of desire? Another lie..”I don’t deserve it.” Says who!!??? Please don’t punish yourself for crimes you did not commit. Forgive yourself for any guilt or negative feelings at once. You don’t need to tell individuals you need to forgive, simply tell yourself and let it go. If you don’t forgive, you are almost guaranteed anger, resentment, sadness, blame, etc. (Sidebar: If you are sad, don’t broadcast it, you’re doubling down on your grief, think of the good you want to accomplish and change your mood asap.) If you are in an environment surrounded by negative minded people, make a plan to change your environment for the better. Reach out and connect with like-minded individuals looking to grow, share your ideas and encourage each other. If you can’t immediately change your environment, at least make a conscious decision to ignore the bullsh*t, stop ingesting it, and keep your mind on your purpose.
Are you still on that damn phone? Hang up already, no one is picking up! WHEW…Welcome to the present where you have complete control over your mind and your thoughts. Fill your mind with thoughts of what you really want. Remember, you don’t need to know every detail of how to get it. You need to focus on where you want to land. Take 3 action steps daily to get into the habit of moving towards your goal. Just 3 and you will feel progress, odds are you have not done 3 things with a purpose in months. (Sorry but that is probably true, don’t shoot the messenger.) Here’s the beautiful part of this story. When you operate in a positive mindset, your fabulous mind will give you the answers you seek as you go along. (Hint: Keep your thoughts to yourself in your current environment or you will likely face a firing squad, they are on hold and are pissed off that you hung up your phone and chose growth.) All is not lost for them. Some will be naturally curious and attracted to your new identity (which is really your ‘true’ identity that you’re letting out…that’s another blog, for another day!). You will be able to inspire others who are ready to receive the message. Don’t try to convince the resistant ones, they’re not ready to hang up even though they know that no one is returning to the call. Not even Thomas Edison can help here.
Pro-Tip: Try watching a few YouTube videos daily to help keep you in a positive mindset. Follow someone whose messaging and personality are appealing to you. Bob Proctor, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, etc..
Patty-Ism: Your future is calling but you’re stuck on hold with your past!